I Miss My Mind the Most

Wow, I have been terrible at writing the past several weeks. I need to get better. You know the saying..."out of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most". Well, that rings a little true these days! Then you add the holidays on top of that and you have a complete psychotic woman on the loose! Never the less here I am!

This is my VERY LAST week of radiation! I am so excited I can hardly stand it! I really didn't think I would make it! I hated it! This week they start what is called the "boost" treatments. They have been radiating from my collarbone down to under my breast, and from my cleavage to my backside. It is so red and irritated. Last week it started blistering quit a bit and peeling off. I still feel like I am nursing a newborn. If I get bumped...I about jump out of my skin.

This week however, they will only radiate my original tumor site (which is called a boost). Which granted is still a large area...but it's not my entire left side! The doctor said the skin that isn't being radiated would start to heal. The boost is concentrated on the surgical area to assure eradication of any cancer cells left in that area, which has the highest likelihood of reoccurrence. In that case...radiate away!!

The fatigue is something else! I am so tired!!!!! It has been somewhat of an accumulative process. If I have one minute of down time I am either sleeping of staring blankly at the wall. I have been terrible at keeping in touch...sorry. I feel like a wet washrag! However, I appreciate the love and support of those around me! You keep my spirits high!

Hopefully, my journey through breast cancer is coming to an end! I never thought I would make it. I try and keep positive by not dwelling on the chances I may have of reoccurrence. I will cross those bridges when/if I get there. I tell my husband if I can go through chemo and be on T.V. bald...I can do anything!!

As I reflect back the past six months, my heart is full of gratitude for both my life and for the phenomenal people in my life. Had it not been for cancer, I may have never met some of the amazing people I have. I heard a saying once that goes something like this..."the deeper the sorrow and pain cut into the soul, the more room there is to fill it up with joy". That is how I feel about this experience. It has been the fight of my life so far...but what I found was great joy. So many lessons learned. How lucky I am!