What a summer this has been. I decided after three years of living in terror that I would have a double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. I was hardly prepared for the change, let alone the pain and trauma I experienced. I am still not sure I can say "I'm glad I did it". But, I feel grateful that my risk of both a recurrence or another primary breast cancer has been significantly reduced! I think if I would have known before hand what difficult these surgeries have been...I know I wouldn't have done it. Maybe my ignorance was a blessing is disguise.
For most of my teenage and adult life I have needed a breast reduction. After treatment for breast cancer I also needed reconstruction to even out the size of my breasts. After much deliberation with my oncologist, my surgeon and my plastic surgeon...We came to the conclusion that If I was going to have reconstruction and a reduction....why not take out all the breast tissue and build from the ground up. I have truly been living in terror of getting caner again. Anyone who has had it can testify about the fear that lingers in the back of your mind and strikes at times with the greatest of force. The fear can be immobilizing.
Although I realize that by having bilateral mastectomies has not reduced my risk of a distant recurrence, I feel like I have done everything I can possible do. I also had a hysterectomy with ovaries this past February. By not having ovaries also reduces my risk of cancer. It has been a hard year on my body. I have one more surgery to remove the spacers and put in the final implants. I am dreading it...trying to block it off. But I know I've got to do it!
There are so many things I want to write about, but I need to get some sleep! Goodnight.
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