Wow, it's been some time since I last wrote. We bought a new house and have been painting and moving. Exhausting, yet fulfilling. I feel so grateful to be a live. Last year at this time I had just went bald from chemotherapy and was sick as a dog. I feel grateful I am in a much different place. So grateful.
We went to Relay for Life last week and "cancer" seemed like a lifetime a go. Part of me wants to forget , the other knows..."Lest we forget". I know I can't forget, I can't let go. Such a turning point in my life, yet part of me wants to "get back to normal". I also know cancer could easily be back in my life tomorrow.
Somehow, I have managed to come to grips with my future and the uncertainty of it all. I think. We are suing the women's clinic that failed to diagnose me for over a year. We had our pre-litigation screening Monday. I thought I would be fine...until the attorney talked about my chance of reoccurrence. I started bawling...the fear and anger returned so quickly. I know going through this legal stuff will be hard. I am trying so desperately to "let go and let God". When I do, I feel peace and contentment. I realize now I cannot control the future. I just have to live the best I can.
My faith has increased. I will go on.
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